Start a Neighbor Table
The best way to like a person you disagree with is to eat with them first.
It is hard to stay angry with someone once you have seen them struggle with a spoonful of hot soup. A neighbor table is a simple idea: a small, regular meal that brings together people who would not otherwise sit down together.
How to set one up
- Keep it small. Six people is ideal. Everybody talks, and no one can hide.
- Invite across the usual lines. Ask the new family, the retired mechanic, the teacher and the guy with the loud truck.
- Keep the food simple. Soup and bread is plenty. Ask people to bring what they like.
- Set a time limit. Ninety minutes is friendly and easy to agree to.
A good first evening
Do not start with big topics. Try questions that anyone can answer:
- Where did you grow up, and what did it smell like?
- Who taught you something that you still use?
- What do you wish people knew about your job?
Simple house rules
Everyone gets a turn. Nobody is there to recruit anyone. What is said at the table stays at the table. Our ground rules poster covers the rest, and you are welcome to copy them out by hand.
Why bother
People who have shared a meal extend each other more patience the next time a hard subject comes up in town. You will not solve anything over soup, but you will know who lives on your street. That is where almost everything good starts.